October 2011 - Newsletter

Hello Everyone!

September was a busy month at Discovery ... Lola Mitchell's "Assertive Professional Development" group got underway and is full! Feedback is that folks are enjoying it and getting a great deal out of it. You might want to think about it next time it's offered!

Discovery Institute Celebrates Hospice Nurses! What do you get when you mix a piece of time with folks who want to enjoy themselves? Apparently a good time, for that is what everyone seemed to have on a recent Saturday afternoon.

As an outgrowth of their support group, this dedicated group of nurses decided to get-together for a little team-building and fun, and they were delighted to welcome some first-time attendees, ranging from the newest to oldest member of the team!

They were surprised to find themselves the center of attention, as each received a gift bag, and was entered into a door prize give-away.

Nurses from the north and south part of the county found themselves winded and dined, along with lovely harp music, provided by Petra of "Healing Strings of Brevard."

A rare opportunity for this group of warm, generous and very special nurses to simply put their feet up and take pleasure in each other's company.

Apparently enjoyed by one and all, chair massages were graciously provided by JoAnn Russell, LMT, LCSW, and Candace Owen Burklew, LMT, BS, CRT, who devoted their personal time in support of these valued nurses. Their friend, Kathy Ritchi, became the resident server and provided most welcomed refreshments.

Discovery's own Dayna Smith, did an outstanding job of providing the fabulous décor and flowers, along with her very own, yummy, rum cake.

The tireless efforts of many behind-the-scenes folks made this event possible, along with some very generous donors: Discovery Institute, Hospice of Health-First, Glenbrooke of Palm Bay, Dr. John Arnold, Marilyn Bennett, Ron Hand, Chick-Fil-A, Carraba's Restaurant, Outback Restaurant, Starbucks, An Infinite Mind, JoAnn Russell, and Vickie Gangwish. Many thanks to all who contributed to and participated in this fun afternoon!

Knowing Your Boundaries

October tells us 2011 is winding down, and the holidays are fast approaching. As we shift into this busy time of year, how well are you prepared to handle increased demands for your time and attention? In other words, how well-constructed are your personal boundaries?

Boundaries are those invisible lines around yourself that let people know the limits of what they can say or do around you. Boundaries help you say "no" when you really mean it, and they also help you ask for help when you need it. Make your boundaries too solid and you build walls, too weak and you allow others' words and actions to harm you. Take a few minutes to brush up your boundaries:

1. Start statements with an "I," rather than "you" or "we." This allows you to own what you say and is less defensive than "you," and more clear than "we."
2. Keep your boundaries specific and clear: "I don't accept phone calls after 10:00 pm;" rather than a vague and mushy, "Don't call me too late."
3. Be consistent when you establish a boundary. If you say "no phone calls after 10:00 pm," then don't make exceptions unless the situation is exceptional.
4. When people attempt to cross your boundaries, don't assume the worst (they don't care, they weren't paying attention, they're selfish and inconsiderate); simply re-state your position.
5. As soon as you realize you're in a situation that might be headed for trouble, re-state your boundary: "I won't continue talking with you if you raise your voice at me."
6. Avoid situations and people where you know your boundaries will be continually tested. At the very least, minimize your exposure to this kind of behavior.
7. Don't take responsibility for how others respond to your boundaries. If someone feels resentment because you didn't wait when they were twenty minutes late for your appointment, don't try and make it okay for them.
8. Respect others' boundaries and ask for clarification when you're not certain of the limits. "May I talk to you about business after hours?"
9. When people refuse to respect your boundaries, walk away rather than get into a situation that could escalate. State why you are leaving and then leave.
10. Let people know when you have reconsidered a boundary. "It used to be okay for you to be late, but now ..."
11. Everyone has to create their own boundaries. What is okay for you might not work for someone else.
12. If you are new at setting boundaries with others - be patient! It will take time for people to accept your changes!

Boundaries held firm can help make life easier, reduce conflict and improve relationships. Plus, they are a real self-esteem booster! If you found issue with any of the previous statements about establishing boundaries, you might need some help with it. Explore the idea of boundaries with someone close to you, or talk with one of Discovery's therapists. Plan to approach this holiday season with good enough boundaries to help you balance all those demands and priorities!

October also brings Halloween, and whether you participate in traditional "Trick-or-Treating," or don't even notice, enjoy the season! Travel safe and be well,

Connie Porter-Richard